She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
