break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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