If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
