The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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