remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
