well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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