i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
