Non-Jews are for practice
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
