I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
