she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Alive.
So much puke
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
