I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
