i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
