If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
