Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
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