wakey wakey hands off snakey
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
