Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I hate all girls vehemently.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
