I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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