We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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