You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
