They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
