i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize