tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
