Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He did a backflip because drugs
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
