Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize