So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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