i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize