Whatcha textin bout Willis?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
