Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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