Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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