I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize