you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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