love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
