You're so nebulous sometimes
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
