I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Two words: nipple clamps
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