I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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