lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
