life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
