There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
