# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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