i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
