Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
