So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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