so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
