Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
