don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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