The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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