she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
