I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize