Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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