Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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