There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
How does one acquire holy water?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
