Life is so much better after having sex.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
