O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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