What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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