We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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