So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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