is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize