She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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