if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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