Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
